Going deaf and going death

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  • I found out I'm going deaf. It explains a lot I guess. I've always been a bad student, not because I didn't try or wasn't smart but because I didn't understand instructions from teachers all the way back to elementary school through present day in college. The doctor told me I needed hearing aids and they would help. They did. It's not perfect but it's better. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since I was 7 years old. Silently. And alone. My family was ashamed of me. The depressed deaf girl. Nothing has ever gone right. Ever. I attempted suicide when I was 8 years old. I didn't even know there was a word for the action. My parents never knew. They would scream at me for things I didn't do and have expectations I would never meet. I'm still here. I wake up every morning and think "today is going to be a good day" and most of the time I make it to my classes. Sometimes I don't, but I take pride in the good days. It just seems like I never can do anything right. Ever. Do other people feel this way? I'm ignored now that I can't hear. My family doesn't sign and they make me feel really dumb. They often tell me that the arguments they have are my fault. I really want advice on how to stop having the thoughts of "you're worthless" or "you should just kill yourself" if you have advice I'd love to hear it, you can email me at

    Posted 3 weeks ago

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