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  • It's hard for me to go to sleep at night because mostly I feel Iike I'm not going to wake up. The worst thing is that I hope I don't because I don't have to be a waste to everyone in my life and my parents. Sometimes I sit in class and ask if I can go sharpen my pencil, I go do it and I look at my pencil for a bit thinking that, "If I just stick this in my neck then it can all end right now." I make jokes about offing myself every so often and sometime I think 'Am I joking about this or am I do I actually want to do it', I have my knife right next to me at my desk almost always and I look over at it thinking that I can just end it all right now, but I think about the people that it could hurt and sometime I don't. About 2 years about I sat in my bed with my knife in my hand with it right up on my jugular and I almost did it, but for some reason I didn't and sometimes I regret that I didn't.

    Posted 2 weeks ago

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